SHOWDOWN: Theme Vs. Thrills

This week I'm going to change things up. I'm actually going to talk about parks and coasters....yeah, well, as much as I can talk about them. If you've read this blog for the past couple of weeks you'll know that I'm not much about giving you news that you've already heard, but more about whats on my mind. Its a character flaw at times, but always me. So with that in mind, I'm going to start up "SHOWDOWN". From time to time I'm going to take things that people argue about pit them against each other just to see who wins. However, this is MY opinion piece, so chances are its going to piss you off, because lets face it, the ones that are going to win are the ones that will win.

THE CHAMP

So this is COASTERcrew.com afterall, the champ will be Thrills. Yeah, I'll give you that. Thrills are what started this whole wave of love that we have with theme and amusement parks. Coasters give you that adrenaline rush, they take you to limits unlike any you've ever seen before. They test the stretches of our bodie and make us overcome our fears, sometimes enforcing our fears as we hurtle through the loops and drops of our own inescapable insanity. For those who love coasters nothing is better than strapping in, and holding on as we are shot at 128 mph over 400 feet into the air only to come soaring back down again, not even sex.

The Challenger

Themeing is that little strand that holds a park together, it gives everything a common goal, a place to go. It takes us to another plain, and transports us to another time, if done right. Thanks to themeing we've run with Dinosaurs, fought man eating sharks, and have been a princess...yes you know you all have. Thanks to themeing we can leave our humdrum lives behind and battle the forces of evil six minutes at a time, or take a break from the hell that is living through the week and be a kid again.

The Battle

Coasters breathe life into a park, they draw visitors in. The screams that they generate can be heard throughout the park, and make people eager in anticipation, but at the end of the day they are just steaming piles of metal. Themeing adds elements to a coaster, and takes a coaster from being good to being FUCKING AWESOME. Case in point? Rock N Roller Coaster at Disney's Hollywood studios. Its set to a music studio with Aerosmith as the star. You are then whisked away to a concert in super stretch limos at lightning speed. The music surrounds you and pushes you into the ride further and further. It adds to the thrill. Take away the themeing and what would you have? A mediocre coaster in the dark...ya know, like Flight of Fear.

On the other hand, if you have themeing and no thrills you're stuck with just a bunch of stuff to look at. People come to your park for the one or two signature rides and then leave. Attention spans of most park goers are limited, especially if you are a season pass holder or Annual Passholder. They dont care that there are 50 million hidden mickeys in the Haunted Mansion. They dont care that if you call the phone number on the theater in Spider Man at IOA that its an actual working number, or that if you look over at Mythos from the Incredible Hulk Coaster you can see a giant Dick on top of the building. No they want instant gratification, and a lot of the things that make parks great are lost. After all, great themeing isnt exactly helping Hard Rock Parks numbers this summer. Themeing doesnt take you to the most intense ride of your life as you scream like a little sissy all the way up the side of Kingda Ka.

Last Man Standing

So who wins? Well, honestly they both compliment each other. If you have a great coaster its made legendary by immersive themeing, and vice versa. But honestly, I choose themeing. Why? Well besides the fact that its my article? Coasters are great, other rides are too, but for the most part my favorite rides are those that do both. I love the thrill of a coaster, or thrill ride but again its only made great if you are immersed into it. What makes Dr. Doom so great? Nothing...its a suck ride, yet people flock to it day after day. People wait an hour for a 20 second ride, why? Because you're not getting on a drop tower, you're being experimented on by Dr. Doom in the Latvarian Embassy, and being sized up by Doombots. Kali River Rapids is the worst rapids ride out there, but people rave because its so well themed. Same with Misson:Space, its nothing but a Gravitron....but man its unlike any I've seen at any fairs. Fact of the matter is that you can make a coaster good, even great, but put themeing to it, and you make it legendary.
This Showdown is over. Two walked in, one walked out, the other dies a humilating death all alone while people poke it with a stick. Our mighty champion has fallen and another rises from his ashes. Any dare to take on this force? Didnt think so.

Til next time, keep your pants on...coaster whores.