Only the Penitent Man Shall Pass

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls. Thank you for stopping by my little sliver of the internet. Don’t be shy, just step right up and gather round. The tale I’m going to weave for you today is one for the ages, and not to be missed. Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Erik, keeper of the kept, and master of the inept.

Memorial Day is once again upon us! While for me it means a three day weekend, and most of you it means the start to your park going season, let us reflect on what its really about. Memorial Day is the day that we are to reflect on the soldiers who have fought and made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom, their lives. Freedom isnt free, it only feels that way.

There are other people out there who believe that not only is the war wrong, but that it is a sign from God that America is altogether wrong. I'm of course talking about the Reverend Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka Kansas. He has a site representing his church called "Godhatesfags.com" and on it he says that the reason our soldiers are dying in the war is because the United States is tolerant of Homosexuals and that God is punishing us for that. Further, this mental midget is using his First Amendment Rights that soldiers have fought and died to bring him, to protest the funerals of American Soldiers with picket signs that says "Your son is in hell with fags" and saying things to mothers with children in Iraq on websites like "I look forward to the day you have to shop for a casket for you fag loving son". Its disgusting, its vile, and its protected by the constitution. The same constitution that our sons, daughters, and friends are all fighting for. On Friday I had the chance to attend a Memorial Service for the fallen soldiers in Florida where Mr. Phelps had his family protesting. See, this is all kind of a scam, I think. Many of the family are lawyers and they sit there and try to instigate a confrontation with you by pulling on your emotions. If their taunts work, they sue you and the city in which they are in in. It was a chilling experience watching these dingleberries trying to chant and sing, only to be interrupted by a throng of vets on motorcycles revving the engines as hard and as loud as they could. It was amazing to see so many people in support of those who gave their lives for our freedom, and to completely shut down a group of simple folk, those who take pleasure in the loss of others, who's sole purpose is to make sure their message is heard....you know, morons.

On a lighter note, and lordy do we need one, Memorial Day is the official start of Summer, the official start of your Amusement Park season, and a great weekend for movies. Anyone see a little film about a guy and some kind of crystal skull thingy? Well, you're missing out if you havent. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, while not the best of the series was definately a triumphant return for our favorite whip cracking fedora wearing grave robber.. Does it meet the hype? Yes and no. Yes, if you arent expecting it to be Raiders. Yes if you are looking to have fun, and yes if you just want to see Indy on the screen again. Shia LeBouf wasnt bad, and the whole thing about Sallah dying....well, sorry for the spoiler folks......or am I?

I really had fun with the film, and hope you all go see it this weekend, a lot....I want an Indy 5. I went with my dad to see it, because when I was growing up he was Indiana Jones. He was the tough kick ass guy I looked up to. I saw a lot of similarities in my dad and Harrison Ford this time around, mostly the old part. They made no qualms about making sure he was living up to his age. Indy had aged, and went through hell, and they made sure that you knew it. It wasnt the day after Last Crusade. And while its Hollywood, it hit close to home. My father too has aged, as we all do, and my father still regails my son with the stories of all of his adventures growing up in a Florida that doesnt exist anymore. And like Indy my dad lost his father, whom he shared some great adventures with. So seeing the gleem in Indy's eyes touched me even more when I saw the same gleem in my dad's eyes. You know that gleem, the one that says, "yeah, I'm an old man, but I'll still kick your ass".

But Indy speaking of Indy, remember the one scene in Temple of Doom that seemed destined for a ride? Yeah, the mine cars. There are several spots in this latest edition that screams "DISNEY MAKE ME A FUCKIN RIDE!!!" I would love to see Disney's Hollywood Studios take this and add it to what they already have, it would seriously kick a certain boy wizard in the teeth, dont you think?

Speaking of the parks, no, I wont be attending a park this weekend. Why? Well, in Florida, going to a park on a Holiday Weekend is total suicide. It doesnt matter how early you go, there will be a huge crowd, and you'll get less done. Besides, with annual passes to most of the Orlando area parks, its really not neccessary to go and jam asses to elbows with all those trying to fit a whole years worth of rides into a four day weekend. Well, thats enough bitching and fantasizing for one week. Til next time, keep your pants on....whip snappers.